I am sad. I feel as though the big bad world is eating me up. And its my own fault. I am letting it eat me up. Our stuff is strewn everywhere. My car is packed with stuff for the apartment and it would be senseless to unload it only to reload it a week from now. So I can't see out of the back. At least I have blind spot mirrors on the sides.
I started working today. A temp, possible temp to perm position. Everyone seems nice and happy to be working there. I didn't do much. Maybe I'm just used to doing a million things all day. I used a dictaphone! I didn't know those things still existed! I spent 3 hours listening and typing. The day went by slowly. My son was the last child in the after school program when I picked him up. That hurt. And I even left work 10 minutes early to get him. :-( We got home and had an hour and a half before his bed time. Of course, he spent it playing with his friend. I am looking forward to having our own space and the special times we will have there. I envision cozy moments full of love and joy.
I feel as though I've finally broken free from a prison but now I don't know quite what to do.
You know that funny fake snore sound? The snorty breathing in through the nose and wheezy 'shew' back out of the mouth? That is the snore my son is snoring right now.
Emily, you have inspired me to try to start blogging again. If anyone bothers to check it any more! I guess that shouldn't matter anyway.
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3 comments:
When I was in South Africa, one woman encouraged me with these words (not a direct quote).
When I see what God is doing in your life and around you, I see a bird that has learned to sing it's song surrounded by the cage/walls it lives in (within church and friends you know). I see now that God is taking you out of those walls and setting you free (putting you in many uncomfortable situations), to spread your wings. It is now time to learn to sing your song in the vastness of who He is, which is the unlimitless sky.
Two things:
1. unlimitless was to be limitless (or unlimited).
2. I hope you will be encouraged by these words, as well. Living outside the familar is not easy, but trusting in God will become easier the more we do it.
I read this blog..just fyi.
I am praying that God speaks to you in this desert place.
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