Enough

Is my life the result of my sin or God's will? A combination of the two, I suppose. I find it hard not to beat myself up over my choices and play the 'what if' game. Pride is an ugly thing. God forgives me, why can't I forgive myself and move on? I want so much to be a good wife but submission is hard. It's hard to submit without respect. I am saddened and discouraged. I simply want to be accepted as I am and for what and who I am to be enough.

How is it Possible?

Here I am doing the very thing I've worked toward for the last year. And I can't seem to be really happy about it. Don't get me wrong, I thank God daily for it and I am so glad to be here. But that genuine happiness eludes me for some reason. I am constantly tired and really don't want to do anything. I usually manage to function for the morning but after lunch I seem to lose all energy and motivation. I put Rory down for quiet time and I simply can't keep my eyes open. I think I have taken a nap every day for the last 2 weeks. I am discouraged and overwhelmed by the task before me. I am being attacked.

My Word for the day:
Ephesians 6:10-11
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."

Day 1

The next chapter.

I don't know if what I'm feeling could be described as shock. I really feel like I'm on vacation more than anything. I imagine that will change soon enough. I simply don't know how to start. If I'm not careful I will end up asleep again!