I Don't Understand

Maybe I'm confused about how marriage is supposed to be, but I don't think so. After God, shouldn't your spouse come next? Shouldn't that person be your priority? I can admit that I don't always manage to accomplish making my husband my priority but I think I try. Its hard to make someone a priority to you when they hurt you continually. And being so obviously NOT a priority just piles on more hurt. Everyone else's needs are more important. I understand wanting to help people, I do. And if there's a way to help other people I'm all for it! But not at the expense of my family.

Some days I just try to protect myself for another day.
Some days I try to make it better.
Some days I just can't manage to do either. I just exist.

I ask God for help, for wisdom to do the right thing. But what is my motivation? Is it to glorify Him or just for the pain to stop?

I Found Them!

My office was summer casual up until about the middle of September. Which means I was able to wear almost anything- within reason of course! No shorts but jeans, capris, nice T shirts, etc were all acceptable. Now we're back to business casual. Which isn't bad- unless you've just spent the last few months in summer casual.

There's not a huge difference between summer casual and business casual. No jeans except on Fridays and no flip flops, etc. My biggest problem is that half my pants don't fit me anymore. I put on about 10 lbs- just enough to make my pants so tight that I look like I have extra layers under my butt. If the pants in question were dark, it wouldn't be so obvious. But, of course, they are all khaki. Anyway, I've been perplexed the last few weeks because I thought I had some dark pants I used to wear but they weren't in my closet.

I found them this morning- exactly where I put them at the beginning of the summer when I didn't have to wear them- in the closet in the office/guest room.

It was like gaining a new wardrobe in an instant and I didn't spend a dime!

The best part is that the first pair of pants I put on actually fit....

There's nothing to see here

Thats all I can think of at the moment. Nothing insightful or thought provoking. I just fell asleep at my desk. Sat back, closed my eyes for a break from the computer screen, and I fell asleep! I can't imagine the embarrassment had my boss come to see me!

We got a notice about the date of our company 'holiday' party. yikes! Is it time for that already? I am looking forward to the holidays though. The time off mostly. I hope to have enough time saved up to take some extra days off. I have about a million things I'd like to do. None of them are work related so it would be helpful if I weren't there.

I think the money hemmorraging may have stopped. There still seems to be a slow leak though- working on patching that up.

Shoes- someone's shoes make her sound like a horse trotting down the hall....

I think I'll try to organize my desk. Maybe rearrange some things.